Fallen
by Akira of the Twilight
Summary: [tyka] Tyson seems to sink into further depression each day. He can’t stop thinking about what he has gone through with his friends, and his mind can only remind him of all the terrible events as things only seem to get wor
1. Going Under

Disclaimer: I own my anger and frustration but I don't own anything else. Then again maybe my anger and frustration own me.

Warning: future Kai x Tyson, possible mentions of Ray x Max, and a tragic, but kind of happy ending

Chapter 1

Going Under

The wind howled and rain poured down heavily on the town, but no one was awake to hear it, all except one. One heard the thunder crack and saw the lightening flash through the sky, matching his mood. Tyson sat alone in his bedroom wide-awake only thinking about the past few weeks, and the past few years. He had done so many things in his short life but none of them mattered. How could any of the things he'd done matter when he kept getting hurt and betrayed by the people closest to him? Time and again Kai had betrayed him, and then eventually his whole team deserted him when the world championships took place again.

There would be times when he could forget about all that had happened and feel at peace with the world around him, but then he would be left alone or be reminded of what happened and he would become a mess. No he wasn't a self-mutilator, but he would lose control and either break something to rid himself of his anger, or burst into tears to make the anguish he felt disappear faster. No one knew how he felt, and if he continued to wear his mask of false bliss no one ever would.

"Kai," Tyson murmured, though no one was awake to hear it, and even if someone was it would be muffled by his arms that he had buried his head in. Kai had recently announced he was leaving to train, but when Tyson tried to talk him out of it the dual haired boy had lashed out at him with a vengeance. The older boy had told Tyson that he was stupid, arrogant, worthless, annoying, and that more than half the reason as to why he was leaving was because of the holder of Dragoon, but the dual haired boy had said it in a more cruel way.

Arms resting on his knees and face buried in them Tyson let the anger, frustration, sadness, and emptiness sink in. He was angry Kai had said all those things. Frustration consumed him because he knew Kai had been right, and his words were true. Sadness, because he had been hurt and once again, even if Kai hadn't meant to, he had betrayed Tyson. The one emotion Tyson hated though was emptiness. It made him feel hollow and his body seemed to become hard and be closing in on its self.

"Why?" Tyson asked in a weak whisper to himself. "Why? What did I do to make him hate me so much? Why does he always betray me, and why did my other friends, and why did my brother? Why? What did I do?" Anger caked his voice as he continued. Removing his face from the protection of his arms he looked up at his ceiling and glared at it with such fierceness that even Kai would flinch at the sight. "Why! What did I ever do to them! Why do I let them call themselves my friends when they clearly aren't! Why is it the pain just never seems to end! Why can't things be the way they used to be, or were they always this way and only now I notice! Why me!"

Tears of bitter resentment flowed down Tyson's tan cheeks, but just as suddenly as Tyson's anger appeared it left and was replaced with hysterically happiness. A chuckle left Tyson's lips. "Oh joy! Look at me now. Crying like an idiot, Kai's right, he's always right." Looking down at his bed-sheets Tyson smiled sadly. "Why am I so weak? Why do I feel like this?" More laughs came as he began to twist his bed cover around his fist. "Kai is right. No wonder everyone wants to hurt me so bad. I'm a blemish on the face of the earth."

Breathing deeply Tyson continued to think of all the things that had happened to him, but somehow he always missed the happy moments or his mind would twist them around into memories of anguish. It wasn't until his body felt numb did he get up from his bed and move over to his dresser and look at all the pictures that littered it. In every picture he was in he was always smiling, but he knew that most of those smiles had been fake.

Seeing a picture of his whole team together smiling made his body feel as if it had been engulfed by flames and he wanted nothing more then to smash it, no, more then that. He wanted to stab it, shred it, burn it, take a bomb and have it explode, scream all his frustrations at it. He wanted destruction and chaos. He wanted it all to disappear, but it never would.

The once howling wind began to die down and the pounding of water had become soft, but the storm inside Tyson had only begun. Screaming he threw the picture to the ground and punched it. Glass spewed across the floor and Tyson's knuckles bled from the abuse, but before rushing to the bathroom for bandages he stood there glaring at the thing that had enraged him. He didn't have to worry about his grandpa hearing him because his grandfather was out with an old friend and wasn't going to be back until sometime in the afternoon tomorrow.

Taking notice of the bleeding he went to the bathroom and searched through the cabinets. Not really caring if he made a mess he tossed things around until he came across the first aid kit. Taking what he needed he wrapped the bandages around his knuckles, and without even bothering to put the kit away he left the dojo dressed in his usual attire. He needed to get out of there, it was too suffocating.

It was still raining, but he didn't care. It cooled him down and made him feel refreshed and relaxed, but at the same time it made his heart grow colder whenever a thought about his family and friends. "No don't," Tyson said as he tried to shake his head clear of the thoughts. "Yes they did all at one point turn against me, and they don't always act like friends, but they are. They are," he said, as his voice grew more desperate. "Grandpa cares and so does Hiro, and everyone else."

_Oh yeah, _I little voice in Tyson's head spoke. _Your friends don't care. They only see you as an opponent, and what better way than to learn your opponent's_ _weakness, than by being around them. They don't care._

Tyson stopped walking abruptly, the voice was right. Why didn't he see it before, but he still had Hiro and his grandpa.

_Is that what you think? _The voice questioned. _Your brother is never around and when he is he never treats you like a brother, and not only that but he betrayed you when he joined Bega. As for your grandpa, come on I know you have to train and all, but don't you think he over does it? Honestly, everyday? You show great skill already so why attack everyday? Why not once or twice a week?_

"I-I-I don't know," Tyson stuttered on his words. Could it be true? He had his doubts about their love and friendship, but could it be the truth. As he thought about it he couldn't deny it. It was the truth. It had to be, everything made sense. In shock he stood in that same spot until the first ray of light broke and he knew he hadn't slept an ounce the night before. If it were all true then he would be prepared. He wouldn't let himself get too close. He would distance himself, but in a slow way so no one would notice. Gazing out at the sun Tyson knew what was to come but he no longer cared, he just didn't want to feel the hurt and betrayal anymore. "I'll stop this on my own. I can't be hurt anymore or I think I'll lose what little sanity I have left."

X.X.X.X.X.X.X.

Akira: I hope you all enjoyed this and for those of you who read my other fics, don't complain because you are obviously reading this, which means I'm still writing something your reading. Of course if you're not reading this then you don't know it exist so I don't see why you would complain.


	2. Bring Me To Life

Chapter 2

Bring Me To Life

"Aw man!" Max whined after hearing what Kenny said. "I can't believe we don't have enough money to go to a movie." Ray, Hilary, and Kenny, who were sitting at the kitchen table, nodded their heads in agreement. All four of them had wanted to see a movie, but it turned out they only had a little more than half the money they would need.

Having overheard Max's complaint Tyson stepped in the kitchen only to be greeted by looks of disappointment. Shrugging it off and putting on his famous smile Tyson pulled out a chair next to Max and sat down. "Hey why is everyone so blue?"

"Since we haven't had a break in a while we all decided going the movies would be a nice change of pace." Ray answered in his usual calm way. "The only problem is we're all a little low on cash right now." Everyone nodded their heads in agreement, and then went back to thinking up ways to get the money.

Tyson on the other hand had a better idea. Laughing in a boisterous way he startled all of his friends out of their thoughts. "Why didn't you say so sooner?" Everyone gave Tyson a confused stare but he ignored it. "Guys I have money too. I'll just give you some of mine."

"But Tyson," Max said thoughtfully as he looked his best friend over, as if waiting for something to happen. "We still might not have enough, because there will now be five of us, so not only would you have to pay for yourself, but for one of us too."

"Oh really?" The smile never left Tyson's face as he continued. "Then how about I give you guys the money and I stay home?"

Shock spread across each member of the table's face. Tyson wasn't greedy, but they had never seen him lend anyone money before. Ray being the first to get over the shock studied Tyson for a bit before answering. "That's nice of you, but won't it be annoying having to wait for each of us to pay back our portion of the money you lent us, and won't you be lonely since Grandpa still visiting his friend?"

"What are you talking about Ray? You guys don't have to pay me back." Standing up from his chair Tyson made his way out of the kitchen, but paused at the doorway. "Also you guys don't have to worry about me. I don't care if I see a movie or not." _No that's a lie! I want to be with you guys. Please ask me to come with you guys. _

"Well if that's what you want Tyson," Kenny said a little unsure as he began to recount the money to make sure his math wasn't incorrect.

"Of course that's what I want." _No! What I want is for you to ask me to come! I don't want to be a burden by inviting myself, but if you ask then I can come. _Tyson's thoughts went unheard though. Sulking in his own self-pity Tyson went to his room and searched for his wallet, all the while mentally begging for his friends to invite him to come. Maybe in someone else's point of view it had looked like Tyson had been asked to join his friend's but he didn't hear it. Instead what he heard was Max saying how it would be better not to go, and Kenny being pleased with the decision, of him staying behind.

Grabbing his wallet and checking to make sure he had enough money Tyson ran back to the kitchen, but Hilary and Kenny were no longer there, and the only other people in the room were Max and Ray. Both were seated at the table still and Ray was listening intently to what Max was talking about. Not wanting to be rude Tyson knocked on the side of doorway to get their attention.

A blush covered Max's face when he heard the knock and saw Tyson standing in the doorway, but Ray had an amused look his face because of Max's facial color change. Willing the blush to disappear Max put his hand behind his head in an embarrassed fashion. "Oh Tyson, I didn't you hear come in, sorry."

"It's okay Max. Don't worry about it." Giving Max a smile Tyson took a seat next to Ray, and realized Ray was sitting where he was sitting not long ago. _What's with the seat change? Could it be? _Tyson mentally gasped as the realization hit him. _Ray has a crush on Max, and by the looks of it the feelings are returned!_ A real smile took over Tyson's face as he looked at his friends, but deep down he felt jealous of them. They obviously loved each other, but no one loved him, and no one would. "So how much money do you guys need?"

"Around ten or fifteen dollars," Ray answered, but his eyes were focused on Max the whole time.

_Wow I wish I had someone like that, _thoughts of jealousy began to fill Tyson's mind but he kept his happy façade up. "Okay. Let's see," he said as he fingered the dollars in his wallet. "I got two tens here so that should be more than enough." He tried to hand the money over to Ray, but the raven-haired boy only looked at it suspiciously. Sighing Tyson tried to convince Ray to take the offered money. "Come on Ray. I got plenty of money so don't worry about it."

Hesitantly Ray took the money from Tyson. "Are you sure about giving us your money?"

_I don't care I just want to hang out with you guys! _Ignoring the annoying voice in his head Tyson only smiled and nodded his head. "Yeah I'm sure, now go find Chief and Hilary and get out of here." Both boys looked at each other before slowly leaving Tyson alone in the kitchen. Five minutes later Tyson could hear the sound of the front door closing and lost control. Silent tears began to fall from his cheeks, but he ignored them and fell to his knees and clutched his stomach.

_What am I doing? _Tyson berated himself. _I said I was going to distance myself from them but I can't. The farther I am from them the more I want to be with them. _As more tears cascaded down Tyson's face the pain grew in his abdomen. His heart wrenched with heartbreak, and it grew harder to breath with each second. He wanted it to stop it, but not by death, he wasn't that desperate, was he?

Trying his hardest to push the pain inside him down Tyson hugged himself in a desperate attempt, but the pain only grew. It was as if his own touch could destroy him. Digging his nails into his arms most of pain seemed to fade from the rest of his body, but now his arms ached with pain. Not thinking Tyson pushed his nails deeper into his tan skin.

He couldn't stand it. It felt like he was missing something, something that would make him whole. His head felt as if it was splitting in two, and voices filled his head. Some of the voices were that of his teammates and others he had made up himself. Wanting to clear his head of all thoughts he let go of his death grip on his arms, which were now bleeding, and grasped his head and shook it over and over again, but nothing would stop the feeling of insanity.

Breathing deeply he gathered the last of his strength and ran into his room and locked the door. Throwing himself onto the bed he cried profusely into his pillow. _I don't understand! Why is this happening! I know this isn't me, but I can't help but feel this way. Why do I feel so abandoned? I want this to stop!_ His thoughts ran rampant in his head as he tried to figure out how all of this was happening. _I'm making a big deal about nothing. I have to be. I rather be making a big deal about something rather than really being abandoned. _

As thoughts continued to Plague Tyson's mind he became more exhausted by the moment, but he couldn't stop his inner turmoil. He kept finding reasons that stated he was abandoned and very few reasons as to why he wasn't, and he just didn't want the first to be true.

It wasn't until Tyson heard the door open and slam was he knocked out of his chaotic thoughts and back into reality. The sound of many people talking let him know it was his four friends, and for a brief second he felt relief wash over him, but then the cold iciness that had engulfed him came back as he realized he'd have to make contact with his friends, and they would see he had been crying and would want to know why.

Thinking fast he pulled the covers out from under him and put them on top of him. As the sounds of footsteps came closer Tyson turned his back so he was facing the wall, and waited for his friends to check in on him. When the door opened the first voice he heard was Max's followed by Ray's.

"I think he's asleep."

"Then we should leave him alone."

"You sure Ray? I feel kind of bad that Tyson stayed behind, even though he paid for some of the tickets."

"Don't worry Max. Remember he said he didn't mind giving us the money." And with that said the two teens left the room quietly as to not disturb Tyson, who was really awake.

_No I didn't mind giving you guys the money. I just wish……………it doesn't matter what I wish. _

X.X.X.X.X.X.X.

**Kiina: **Thank you for the complement, and I do plan to keep it up.

**NeckoFury: **Yes, poor Tyson. I hate doing this to him but this fanfic has been screaming at me to write it, so he must suffer.

**Elemental-Zero: **Hi Mimi! Nice to see you reading another of my fanfics. I hope you enjoy this as much as Haunted.

**Animegirl171: **Thank you, and yes poor Tyson, and if have the Evanescence CD then you probably got an idea as to how this is going to end, but I'll be trying to give a twisted happy ending.

**ChOcoLAte lUVr: **Who doesn't love Evanescence? Their awesome!

**xXxAngel VxXx: **Wow a lot of people are hugging Tyson! Well here's the chapter with bring me to life, which means Everybody's fool is next. Also I must say I love Bring Me To Life!

**Kai's the Best: **I will keep up the good, and nice to see you reading this story of mine too. (hugs)

**Noom-Moonlight Wolf: **Hi! Nice to see you again. Well during this week I did updated about five stories so I think I have fulfilled your request to update all my stories quickly. Now I have to catch up with reading this fanfic I found that was interesting but I haven't finished yet. _May: _What about the SAT. _Akira: _Holy crap! That's right starting tomorrow we have testing at my school! MUST STUDY! (runs off to textbooks)


	3. Everybody’s Fool

Chapter 3

Everybody's Fool

Two weeks had past since Tyson's friends had gone to the movies. They never did know what he went through that day, and he promised himself they never would. There would be times when he was alone he would suffer from the sudden attacks of emotion, but sometimes they would begin when his friends were still around him and he would have to lie to them saying he needed to go to the bathroom in order to get away from them. The only thing that seemed to make Tyson happy on those days was when he would accidentally catch Ray flirting with Max, but he would also feel a little jealous too. He wished he had someone who loved him as much as Ray loved Max.

Using what little strength he had Tyson managed to push himself out of bed that morning. The light coming from his window made him wince as he let his eyes adjust to the new light. He hadn't gotten much sleep last night; at least it didn't feel like he did. His dreams had become plagued with his insecurities, giving him a restless sleep.

Hissing as his feet touched the cold hard wood floor Tyson whipped away the sleep from his eyes and made his way to the kitchen. He was starving since he had gone to bed without eating his dinner. Skipping meals and having irregular sleep patterns had become part of his daily life. He would be up in the middle of the night and be craving something to eat, or he might fall asleep around noon only to wake up seven hours later. Sometimes he wouldn't even sleep for a day, but having grown used to it Tyson didn't notice, and his grandpa thought it was just normal teenage adolescence.

The smell of breakfast wafted through the dojo and drool began to form in his mouth, but he swallowed it down, so no one would know how hungry he truly was. Tyson's grandpa stood at the stove cooking pancakes humming a little tune, but when he saw Tyson walk in he gave his grandson a smile. "Hey little dude."

The cheerful sound in Grandpa's voice made Tyson scowl mentally at the old man. _How dare he act like he's happy to see me when he isn't. Wait, what am I thinking? I have no proof that he isn't happy to see me. _Shaking his head to clear his thoughts Tyson gave his grandpa the biggest smile he could muster. "Morning Grandpa. I'm hungry, can I have some breakfast?"

"Sure thing Little Dude, but I got to finish with this batch of pancakes first, okay." Receiving a nod from Tyson Grandpa went back to work.

Taking a seat at the table Tyson saw the newspaper sitting there, and with nothing else to do picked it up and began to read it. At first it seemed to be kind of dull, but just as he was about to put it down he saw something that caught his attention. Pasted on the page was a picture, but not just any picture, a picture of Ray and Mariah kissing!

Reading the article next to the picture Tyson scowled. It said Ray and Mariah had been seen at the park with the rest of the White Tigers and that they were teaching little kids to beyblade, but halfway through it Ray and Mariah had kissed. The rest of the article was about their so-called secret relationship.

Rage, anger, and resentment burned through Tyson's body. He couldn't stand it! Normally he would let something like this slide since it was common for the press to write lies in the newspaper, but with the picture supporting it he couldn't let it slide. Sure he was doubting his friendship with his friends, but there was no way in hell he was going to let Ray break Max's heart.

As if on cue Ray walked into the room. He sniffed the air and then smiled in delight at the sweet scent. "Hey that smells good Grandpa, save some for me."

Giving Ray a thumbs up sign Grandpa was about to reply when the phone rang. Excusing himself he left the room to answer the phone.

Silence filled the room as Tyson glared at the raven-haired boy who stood before him. It didn't seem to faze Ray though as he took a seat across from Tyson. Still glaring at Ray, Tyson waited for the older boy to react, or at least get the message he was pissed. Finally sensing Tyson's eyes on him Ray focused on the younger boy, only to be taken aback by the fierce glare aimed at him. "Is there something bothering you Tyson?"

Slamming his fist on the table Tyson stood up so he could tower over Ray. "Is something wrong," Tyson hissed, his voice filled with venom as he stared daggers into Ray. "How about the fact you kissed Mariah when you have been flirting with Max! What is wrong with you! How can you do that to Max! Maybe you were just playing around at first, but what if Max took your flirting seriously! He'll be heart broken!"

Something unrecognizable flashed through Ray's eyes as he did his best to remain calm. "Tyson I don't know how you figured out about Mariah and me kissing, but I can assure you that I haven't been flirting with Max." Humor flickered in Ray's eyes as he went on, which only infuriated Tyson more. "Besides Max is a guy, Tyson, and in case you forgot so am I. It would be wrong for the two of us to be more then just friends. If anything it would be sick and disgusting."

Scorching fire burned in Tyson's veins causing him pain, but at the same time giving him the will to say what was on his mind. "How can you say that! If two people love each other then why should gender matter! Also you have been flirting with Max so don't deny it, and if Max gets hurt because of this then I'll hurt you!"

Ray had had enough. Without thinking he slammed his fists on the table and stood up, scowling at Tyson as he spoke words of hate and contempt. "Max is my friend too Tyson, and I wouldn't ever hurt him intentionally, but why is it you are defending being gay! Could it possibly be because you are gay yourself. It would make sense since you and Kai are so obsessed with each other!"

Tyson tried to speak but Ray interrupted him with another onslaught of insults. "You think you're so great and that you know everything, well you don't! Kai was right about you and your arrogance!" The fire of rage that had been burning in Tyson's heart died with those words. This was it, the truth. He could finally hear what Ray thought of him. "You say I flirt with Max, well I could say the same about you and Max, or would you prefer Kai, because I can tell you right here and now about all the flirting you've done with both of them."

The silence that filled the room was deafening. Only their breathing could be heard as the two boys stood at opposite parts of the room. Each was buried deep in their thoughts. Tyson trying to be happy that he heard the truth, but at the same time fighting off the depression that was sinking into his heart, and Ray was busy regretting saying all those things when he saw the hurt and betrayal flash through Tyson's eyes.

Taking a step towards the younger teen Ray tried to place a comforting hand on the boy's shoulder, but Tyson flinched and took a step back. Neither moved for a few seconds but at the sound of Grandpa entering the room Tyson ran out of the kitchen and back to his room. Ignoring the questioning stare of his grandfather.

On the way to his room however Tyson crashed into Max who looked at him with a worried expression on his face. "Tyson what's the matter?"

Taking a deep breath Tyson prepared himself. "Max I don't know how to tell you this, but Ray kissed Mariah!"

It was only a second, but Max's face filled with disappointment, but before anyone could see it he smiled at Tyson. "That's great Tyson. I'm so happy for Ray."

"But Max what about you?"

Max double blinked at Tyson's comment, but he continued to smile nonetheless. "Ty, I don't see what Ray being in love with Mariah has to do with me. I mean it's not like either one of us is gay or bi, that would be gross."

Tyson's heart fell. Had he been wrong? Did he just anger Ray because he had been stupid and assumed something that was incorrect? Giving Max a fake smile he said, "You're right, now excuse me but I'm still tired and would like to go back to sleep." Without hesitation Max let Tyson pass.

Once in his room Tyson threw himself onto his bed, and clenched the bedspread in an attempt to control his thoughts. He had been so stupid. How could he have thought something like that? The anger that had once been aimed at Ray was now directed at himself.

His head pounded, and he wanted to destroy something, anything. The need to taste blood and see someone suffer was growing in him, but there was no one there except himself. Himself. Without thinking Tyson went to his dresser and pulled out a pocketknife.

Rolling up his sleeve Tyson braced himself for the pain to come. He wasn't even fully aware of what he was doing, but he knew he wanted it. Slashing the silver blade across his wrist he bit back a hiss of pain. The blade cutting against his skin had felt like fire, but at the same time it felt as cold as ice. It hurt like hell but he could feel the anger leaving his body. It was the beginning of the end for Tyson.

X.X.X.X.X.X.

**Queen of Anime: **Wow! Thank you. I'm so glad that I was able to move you to tears, because it means I got Tyson's emotional pain across really well. Personally I feel like I could have gotten Tyson's anger across better in this chapter, but I couldn't do it. I bet it's because my friend gave me a cup of nothing but pure chocolate.

**Trickyrabbit: **Thank you for the compliment. I was a little unsure about starting this story at first, but hearing you say that makes me feel that this might turn out to be a good story.

**Neko Tenshi Miyoko: **Yes poor Tyson! I like him a lot but I have to make him suffer. I feel so horrible, but I must continue! Besides Tyson is still getting something out of this. He gets gifts from people like you, and I'm sure he's going to love your cupcakes.

**Animegirl171: **I glad that you enjoyed the last chapter, and I hope this one was okay. Next is going to be My Immortal.

**KaiJr91: **Well I hope you liked this chapter, but I personally felt I could have done better. Damn it why'd I have to be on sugar high as I was writing this. Next is My Immortal and I hope I will be able to write it as best as I can.

**xXxAngel VxXx: **Oh you don't have to thank me for reading your fic. I enjoyed it and that's enough for me.

**Fireie Gurl: **Kai is still on his journey, but he will be back soon. Who doesn't want to hug Tyson? He is just so huggable.

**Elemental-Zero: **Hello again Mimi. It's been nice chatting with you. I'm glad I made the depression realistic in chapter 2, but I don't think I did real great with chapter. I think I could have done better.

**Serena429: **Thank you. I'm glad you like my story.

**Hiyami:** Oh I hope you passed your test. As for why I make Tyson suffer, it's because then Kai can make him feel better. Of course I'm also doing this to the Evanescence CD Fallen and the songs on that CD aren't very happy.

**Poison Maker: **You read Haunted! O.O Wow! You took me by surprise. Sometimes going insane can be fun, but in Tyson's case it is painful. (sigh) I remember when I went through the same thing, but now I'm over it………for now. LOL.

**PunkerPrincess: **Here's the next part and I hoped you enjoyed it. Next up is My Immortal!

**Noom-Moonlight Wolf: **Yes Tyson's friends ditched him, but in their point of view they thought he didn't want to go, or didn't care. It is a sad thing when your friends can't see you're dying inside.


	4. My Immortal

Akira: Okay my computer has been having a hard time connecting to the Internet so I'm sorry this chapter has taken so long. (glances outside bedroom window and sweat drops) Uh hey, Mimi, May, Do you guys know why there's a gulf car in my backyard?

Mimi: No. Didn't your Grandma have one?

Akira: Yeah, but I don't remember putting it in he backyard.

May: MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Let evil rein supreme!

Akira: I think that's May's way of saying evil spirits moved it.

Chapter 4

My Immortal

More time passed and still no one noticed the change in Tyson. They couldn't see how his eyes had become filled with a never ending void of hopelessness. After the first cut Tyson tried it more often, at first it was maybe once a week, then twice, and finally everyday. He couldn't help it, the cool metallic feeling of blood covering his arms and the rush of adrenaline, as his body tried to give him strength was addicting.

He knew what he was doing was considered wrong, but he couldn't stop himself. The emotional and mental pain was too strong for him, and if he didn't do something he'd go insane. Cutting took away some of the mental pain, and harmed his body, but with some of the mental pain gone he could think clearly for some time. Once he was finished he'd wrap his wounds, and pray that he wouldn't have to do it again the next day, but his prayers were never answered.

It was only a few days ago Hiro had come to visit everyone, and Tyson must have perfected his act by then, because Hiro noticed nothing different about him, or if he did he chose to ignore it. The two brothers got along fine, but there were times for no reason at all Tyson would want to yell at his brother for not seeing his pain, but then he would wish for Hiro to leave, that way there was no chance of the older boy figuring out his secret. Whether Tyson wanted his brother to know or not know, Tyson had no idea. All he knew was he wanted someone to notice his pain, but to let him continue with what he was doing.

Pouring milk into his glass Tyson thought over his options. He could tell someone, but if he did they would try to stop him, and as much as he hated to admit it, he didn't want to stop. These feelings were painful, but at least they were real. Also if he were to go back to being his happy self then he might not see the signs when someone was planning on hurting him. At least with the pain he felt now he was more aware of people's true attentions.

"There you are Tyson," Hiro said cheerfully as he walked into the kitchen, taking his little brother by surprise. "I've been looking all over for you." Tyson felt his heart rise with happiness, but it was soon crushed as thoughts of Hiro yelling at him filled his head. Maybe he had done something wrong and Hiro was mad at him now. As these thoughts filled his head Hiro continued. "It turns out that I'm going to have to be leaving soon, Dad needs some help at an archeological site he's at."

Icy daggers stabbed at Tyson's heart. He couldn't help but feel betrayed, but he wouldn't let Hiro know, so he put on a smile. "That's okay, Hiro. It was great having you here. So when will you be leaving?"

"In a day or two," Hiro answered, relieved that Tyson was taking this so well. "We can hang out until then."

_Why can't you just leave now, that way I won't have to continue feeling this way until you do leave, _Tyson thought to himself. Calmly he picked up his glass of milk and took a sip before talking. "You don't have to, besides I'm sure you would like to use this time to pack."

"You sure you don't mind?" Hiro's words cut through Tyson like a knife. He hadn't actually meant what he said, and yet it was clear Hiro wanted to do what he offered him.

Pasting a fake smile on his face Tyson began walking out of the room and shouted over his shoulder to his brother, "Of course. Would I have said it if I didn't mean it?" _Yes. Why can't I just say what I want?_

_Because if you did they would hate you, _another voice in Tyson's head answered, and sadly he agreed with it. Who would like a person as selfish as him? If his friends knew what he was thinking they would think his even more stupid then they originally thought, and would see how truly self centered he was. He had to keep his real self hidden, or else he would lose what little he did have.

Standing alone in the hall he stared down at his feet. Would his friends really hate them, but wait didn't he already say to himself he didn't have any friends? Didn't he also say he was going to distant himself from them all? Then why was he clinging to them so much? Why couldn't he just let go like he thought, why did he still hold them so dear? The thoughts, fears, and doubts were becoming too much for him again, and he could feel the beginning of another hysteria attack as his breathing became labored.

Rushing to the bathroom he closed the door silently behind him and locked it. The emotional pain was becoming real again. His body began to ache, and unshed tears shinned in his eyes as he opened up the sink cupboard and threw its contents out until he came across his hidden sliver blade. Rolling up one of his sleeves he picked up the blade and made a small cut. Hissing at the sensation he continued until he had six new cuts. Already he could feel his thoughts subsiding, and the pain ebbing away.

Taking a deep breath Tyson sat on the edge of the sink and let the blood flow down his arm. So entranced at the sight he let what little thought he had left run threw different things in his head. Happy memories flashed before his eyes, but he no long cared, he knew most of them were lies.

_I wonder what Kai is doing right now? _The sudden thought knocked Tyson out of his trance and made him sit up. _That was a random thought, _Tyson thought to himself, but even as he thought those words he couldn't help but smile a little. _But I can't help it. As weird as it sounds I miss him. He was always honest with how he felt towards me, and I can't help but feel thankful for that. I hope he's okay._

His smile winded as more thoughts of Kai filled his head. He continued to smile even when he remembered all the things Kai had said to him, and all the times Kai betrayed him. For the first time in a while felt happiness bubble in him, but at the same time a sense of longing held his heart. _I know I miss him, but I never knew I missed him this much. Maybe…… maybe Ray was right about me having feelings for Kai. _

Ray, that name made Tyson wince as he remembered their fight. Even though Ray and Max both said they didn't have feelings for each other he couldn't help but feel as if they were lying to him. Of course he didn't want to give them any reason to be upset with him so he kept quiet, and watched them silently from afar, and hoped one day they would reveal their feelings to one another.

Footsteps echoed in the hall and from what Tyson could tell they were heading to his bedroom. Jumping off the sink he grabbed the first aid kit, but found it didn't have any more bandages. Cursing under his breath he took some toilet paper and wrapped it around his arm, and cleaned up the mess he made in the bathroom, but a part of him was tempted to leave the room messy and see if his friends would discover what he was doing.

Covering the new wounds and leaving the room he went to his bedroom where he saw Max pounding on his door. "Tyson, Tyson, come on! You got to see something!" Not seeing Tyson standing behind him Max continued to break down the door until he heard someone clearing their throat and turned around to find Tyson behind him. Blushing from embarrassment Max grabbed Tyson's arm and started to pull him in another direction. "Come on Tyson you are really going to like this!"

"What are you talking about Max?" Not answering Tyson's question Max continued with pulling Tyson to whatever it was the blonde wanted him to see.

X.X.X.X.X.X.X.

The two boys now stood in front of the front door. Without another word Max slid the door open to reveal Ray talking to none other than Kai. At the sight of Kai Tyson's heart skipped a beat, and his heart filled with dread.

Now that Kai was back the stoic team captain might find out Tyson's secret and hate him even more, and Tyson couldn't bare the thought of that. He knew Kai hated him, but to a tolerable point, but if Kai found out his secret there was no way in hell Kai would put up with him.

Smiling his fake smile he acted as if everything was normal. "Hey Kai! Where have you been?" He received no answer from his secret crush. Yes, crush. Once Tyson saw Kai again he knew there was no denying it. He had a crush on the older blader. Trying again he asked another question. "So did you miss me?" He said in a teasing voice, but truthfully he did want to know if Kai had missed him or not.

"No," Kai put bluntly. "Why would I miss someone like you? You're annoying, and get in the way. You think you're the best, and when someone beats you it's a crime. Why would anyone miss you?"

Tyson's heart shattered at the cruel words, but he pretended to be angry instead. "Well fine, if that's how you feel than I'll go to my room where I'm wanted." Stomping off, he ignored Ray and Max's pleas to stay and that Kai was just being his usual jerky self.

Once in his room Tyson shut the door and locked it. Leaning against the door his legs began to become weak and he slid to the floor and buried his face in his arms. Hysteria was growing in him but he no longer cared. He welcomed the pain in his heart openly.

Tears flowed down his face, and his lungs burned as he gasped for air in between sobs. Why did he have to get a crush on Kai? Why couldn't it have been somebody else? Why was it when he was losing his brother he was gaining Kai, who hated him? Why did all this happen to him?

_Why does Kai hate me?_ Tyson thought. _Didn't I save his life at one point? Shouldn't that count as something? Then again this is Kai we're talking about. He probably thinks that he has already repaid me by being on the same team as me. I don't want that though. I just want him to like me. It doesn't have to be a crush type of like, but a friendship type of like._

Holding himself tight, he tried to will his pain away. Somebody was probably going to check on him soon, and he didn't want them to know how Kai's words had affected him. _But would they care if they found out?_

X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.

**The-Pain-Of-A-Lost-Soul: **Updated and ready to be read, Captain. LOL.

**TyKaGal: **Thank you. I'll try to find a way to bring some happiness into Tyson's life, but since the story is based on the Evanescence CD "Fallen" I don't have much control of that.

**Dark-She-Deivl: **Kai's back! Everyone do a happy dance. Of course Kai was a jerk, but that's because it is needed for later chapters. Really this is the best?

**NeckoFury: **Ack! No please don't faint on me! I love Tyson too, but some people just love watching him suffer. (cries) Why! Why does this happen to me! Why must people always faint when I'm in the room!

**Queen of Anime: **thank you, that means a lot to me. I'm seriously thinking that some people though haven't read the genre, because a lot of people ask for me to cheer Tyson up, but this is angst and tragedy. I'm glad you enjoy this enough to read it, even if it is sad. Truth is I'm surprised I can write something so sad.

**Luvyagal: **I bet you're frustrated with Kai, but remember it's all for the plot. Yes Ray and Max are stubborn, but tragedy will bring them together, and in a strange freakish way it will do the same for Kai and Tyson.

**Lilphoenixtears: **Wow, thanks. I'm glad you feel bad for Tyson. I should this to my friend and she didn't give a rat's ass about Tyson, which really upset me.

**Elemental-Zero: **I'm lazy so I'm probably going to be calling you Mimi instead of Elemental-Zero in review replies. I'm glad I captured the emotion and put everyone in suspense, and soon Hiro is going to get more involved before he leaves. Oh and Kai will be forced to admit his feelings to himself soon. He's still in the denial stage, but that will be explained in later chapters.

**XXxAngel VxXx: **I love Tyson too, but our love isn't enough. He wants Kai's love. Damn it Kai! Why is it you have to be an ass! _May: _because you made him one. _Akira: _I did?

**Noom-Moonlight Wolf: **Chapter five is going to be Haunted, so if you know the song I think you know what the chapter is going to be about. I did update BTLG, but it was a while ago. Once I get two other stories updated I'll update it again. Hopefully I'll update those two stories soon, and not avoid them with other stories. (sweat drops)

**Serena429: **Well Tyson will have a twisted happy ending. In other words it will be sad, but then something will happen to make it better. I wish I could tell you what, but I can't or else I would ruin the story.

**FireieGurl: **Max and Rei are in denial. Well actually they admit to themselves about their crushes on each other, but they'll never say it out loud, because society is messed up, and people don't like gay people. I hate close minded people. Love has no gender, man. (peace sign)

**Punkerprincess: **Sorry Kai hasn't yet hugged him, but I'm sure I can make him at some point. Angst very good though. Who doesn't love reading a good angst story every now and then?

**ChoOcoLAte lUVr: **Thank you! I'm so happy that I get the emotion across in this fic becase that's what's most important. (hugs) Thanks!


	5. Haunted

Akira: MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Yes, time for one of my favorite Evanescence songs, Haunted! Oh the suffering! Oh the wondrous anguish! It fills me with joy!

Mimi: Meep! Aki-Chan, you're starting to scare me.

Akira: (blinks) I think I've been hanging around May too long.

Chapter 5

The sound of the night echoed in Tyson's ears. Two days had passed since Kai had come back and Hiro was leaving tomorrow, which only made Tyson feel more like shit. Nothing felt right in his world anymore. His brother was leaving him and the feeling of abandonment grew in the pit of his stomach. So many people he had cared for had abandoned him at one point or another, and he just couldn't take it anymore.

He didn't know what he wanted. He wanted people there, but also wanted them gone. He wanted to hurt himself, make himself bleed, yet at the same time he wanted to stop the pain, and stop the self-inflicted wounds. The need the scream was rivaled by the need to cry. He felt everything, and nothing, all at once. Was this insanity, or was this normal? Hope against hope he didn't know which would be better, insanity or being normal. What he wanted was unclear, but he knew he needed to be free, to breathe, and let go of all of these feelings.

Cool air brushed across his skin as he sat on his bed. He needed to escape, and lucky him, he had a window in his bedroom. A dark chuckle left Tyson's lips as he walked over to his already opened window. Listening carefully for any footsteps heading towards his room, he climbed through his bedroom window, and landed outside it without a scratch.

Not wasting any time, and moving with cat like grace, Tyson ran away from his house and let his feet take him wherever they wished to go. The night wind blew on his face sending shivers down his back now and then. Maybe he should have changed out of his PJ's before he left, but that didn't matter anymore; he was finally free. The rush gave his feet wings as he ran on the cold sidewalks.

Tyson couldn't stop the stupid smile that spread across his face at the thought of freedom. Sure he wasn't exactly free, but right now he didn't have to worry about anyone else or anything. To him this was freedom, or at least as close to freedom as he was going to get.

With that stupid smile still plastered on his face he began to cry. The tears rolled down his cheeks like a river, and he screamed. The feeling was so good that his scream slowly turned into a laugh, and then would go back to a scream. He loved this feeling. He was safe and free for now. Nothing could probably ever make him happier, then this one night of freedom. Sure, some people looked at him like he was crazy, but he didn't care about them. The world didn't matter; he was lost in his own world of ecstasy.

The feeling of transcendent bliss would have lasted longer if it weren't for the loud crashing sound right then. Stifling all sounds he had been making, Tyson finally took in his surroundings. He was in the park, as for where in the park he was unsure; it looked different at night. Letting his eyes adjust to the murky darkness he saw a tipped over trashcan. Cautiously, he stepped closer to the awful smelling thing. Peering over the can golden eyes stared at him.

A black cat sat there with a banana peel on its head. Chuckling at the cute sight before him, Tyson picked up the peel and tossed it to the side. "You scared me there for a second little buddy," Tyson said in a friendly voice. Patting the cat on the head, he left the poor thing there.

Feeling better Tyson sighed and walked down the path that should lead him outside of the park. He couldn't believe he had been scared of a little cat. Of course it was late at night, but still, he was the world champion. Grinning cockily he lost himself in pleasant thoughts.

_Maybe things will get better. _Tyson thought. _I was finally able to get out all that frustration, and I'm sure I can deal with this. Weren't things always like this? Yeah, so I shouldn't have a prob- _Tyson's thought were cut off as the sound of footsteps caught his attention. Stopping, he noticed the footsteps stopped moving. Waiting a few seconds he started walking again only to hear the same footsteps following him.

Beads of sweat formed on Tyson's forehead. Someone was stalking him! Adrenaline coursed through his body as he shivered in fear. He could hear his ragged breath, and feel his plus grow faster. His own heart echoing in his head. Letting his terror get the best of him he ran.

The cool night had betrayed him. He thought he was safe. He thought he didn't have to worry about anyone or anything, but he was wrong. He forgot he had to worry about himself and his own safety. How could he have let this happen! Was one moment of feeling high and unbelievable bliss worth what would happen to him if they caught him? No, and he could tell by the sounds of footsteps that it was more than one person after him.

_Kai's right, I am stupid! _The thought screamed in Tyson's head. Any intelligent person would have stayed home, but he, in his moment of irrational thought, had decided to go outside at this time of night. He was a fool! No, he was the king of fools! Only he could make this mistake!

Barely consciously he heard the people chasing him shout something to each other, but he ignored it. If he continued to run at this pace he might just make it to his home in time, but already he was having trouble breathing and growing tired from his outburst earlier. Why'd he have to use all his energy then? Why'd he have to go outside tonight? Why was he like this? Why? Why? Why!

The answer never came to him. Instead something hit him on the head, causing him to fall forward. It was only a matter of time before his stalkers were on top of him.

X.X.X.X.X.X.X.

Akira: Okay right now I got a lot of work so I can't answer reviews. Also I am ready for you guys to yell at me, but may I point out the genre for this story is angst/tragedy.


	6. Tourniquet

Chapter 6

Tourniquet

Words couldn't describe the pain that Tyson felt as he limped home, bleeding and bruised. Holes littered his cloths and some of the buttons had been ripped off his shirt. His mind was blank from the pain, and every now and then an almost inaudible groan could be heard coming from his torn and bleeding lips.

Some people might say he was lucky to still be alive. Alive? That made him laugh. How could he enjoy life when he had no friends, the one that he loved despised him, and he had been tainted? How could anyone still want to live after that? Why had he even bothered to get up from that ally after what they did to him and come home? No one would care, or they would hate him, or they would say it's his fault for going out in the first place.

As he came closer to his home and saw the lights on he prayed for no one to be home, though he knew that at this late at night it was impossible. Trying to remain as quiet as possible he crept to the sliding door of the dojo and slid it open a crack to try and hear any voice. Silence answered him however and for that he was thankful.

Not wasting any time he entered the house and went straight to the bathroom on the way though he heard someone talking on the phone. Curiosity getting the best of him, Tyson listened in on the conversation.

"No, he hasn't come back yet." Tyson managed to recognize the voice as Max's even in his hazy state.

"Don't worry I'll call you as soon as he comes home," Max reassured the person on the other side of the phone. "You know, this is just like Tyson to go out in the middle of the night. He never thinks things through."

Hearing the annoyance in Max's voice Tyson knew where this conversation was going, and with an aching heart he continued to move down the corridor to the bathroom.

X.X.X.X.X.X.X.

Tyson winced as he stared at his reflection in the bathroom mirror. He knew he was banged up bad but he didn't expect it to be this bad. More than half the cuts on his wrists had opened up, and now his sleeves were drenched in blood. Scratches covered his face, and he had a black eye. Lifting up his shirt you could see black smudges where bruises were, and red bite marks. Blood seeped through his pants, reminding Tyson of what had happened and making him want to hurl.

Disgusted with himself, Tyson turned away from the mirror and began slowly peeling off his cloths. Wincing every time he moved his body, he somehow managed to take off all articles of clothing and turn on the shower. He knew the sound of water running would alert Max to his presence, but he also knew Max wouldn't walk in on him if he was taking a shower.

Stepping into the cool water had been the hardest part, for the moment that fresh pure water touched his skin his body burned and ached. Blood ran down his body in rivers as he held himself and silently cried. His own blood felt like mud sliming its way down his body, and his chest became heavy, as if there was smoke in the air. Gasping for breath he leaned against the cold shower wall and shivered.

His head throbbed with an all too familiar pain. The feeling of his head splitting in two and his soul being sucked out of his body made him want to cry harder, but his pride wouldn't let him. He deserved this. He had been foolish enough to go out in the middle of the night. He was stupid, he was worthless, he had nothing but grief.

After rinsing his body of any blood, Tyson turned off the water and grabbed the blue robe that was in the room and put it on. Wanting to stall having to face his friend he took his torn and blood soaked cloths and began to wash them in the sink, but the whole time the urge to throw up never left him. Finally finished with washing his filthy cloths he let them hang up in the shower, not caring any more who saw them.

Taking a deep breath Tyson tried to quell the urge to hide all night in the bathroom. Thinking up excuses with each step he took towards the door he stood there in front of it and opened the door. As the door slowly slid open Tyson heart froze in terror as the sight of someone standing outside the door made him want to slam it, and go back into hiding. Another part of Tyson however was able to coax him into opening the door fully, only to reveal his older brother.

To say Hiro looked upset was an understatement, he was downright pissed. Anger and resentment were like growing flames in Hiro's eyes as he stared down at Tyson, making the younger boy more frightened.

_Why did I open this door again? _Tyson thought desperately as he took a cautious step backwards.

"Don't walk away from me!" Hiro shouted as he saw Tyson take a step back from him; it was too dark in the hallway for Hiro to see the bruises on Tyson's face, so he had no idea what had happened to his little brother. Grabbing Tyson by the wrist he pulled the younger boy into the hall, ignoring the hiss of pain coming from Tyson as he did so. "What were you thinking going out in the middle of the night!"

Shaking violently Tyson tried to change the subject. "I thought Max was the only one home when I got back. I didn't know you were here too."

"Don't change the subject!" Hiro shouted, making Tyson try to pull out of his grasp, which only made Hiro hold on tighter. "We were all worried about you Tyson! How could you be so stupid!"

It was indescribable; one moment Tyson had been scared to death of his brother and the next it was as if he were nothing but a ghost watching the whole thing from the outside. Those words had shattered something in Tyson. He didn't know what it was that had been broke, but everything now felt so cold and meaningless. His spirit was gone, and he was left with nothing but a hollow shell.

Tyson had stood there listening to Hiro tell him how wrong he was to go outside so late at night and how he could have gotten hurt. Hurt, the word was meaningless to him now, but he knew the irony of what his brother had said to him. As his brother continued to berate him for doing such a stupid act all his friends came home, and each pulled him aside to talk to him after Hiro had finished with his lecturing. Luckily Tyson had managed to cover his face with his bangs, or by looking down at his feet shamefully, so no one had even slightest idea of what he went through.

He was now in his room, and his hand was holding the cool steel weapon that had eased his pain so many times before, but it brought no feelings to him as it used to. Originally when he had first started cutting he would be scared, but at the same time excited, but now all he felt was emptiness and a sense of longing.

Without a thought or a care he lifted the knife up and made the first new fresh cut. He felt the pain, but didn't show it; he had felt much worse than this. Slowly he moved the blade across another patch of skin, opening old wounds in the process. The scent of blood filled his nostrils and that's when the feelings began to return to him.

Passion filled his shattered heart as he fell into an ecstasy from the blood filling his senses. Anger passed through his blood as he thought about all the things his so called "friends" had done to him. Despair froze over his bones, making him long for a warmth that didn't exist. Hunger engulfed his mind; he needed more. He needed more of these feelings and more blood. How he used to hate these insufferable feelings but now they were all he had and he wasn't willing to lose them.

Slashing his wrists over and over again he started to lose focus of what he was doing, and began to slit his wrists and arms in any possible direction, and cutting as deep as he could in the state of mind. An insane laugh floated from his lips that would disturb anyone, but to him it was beautiful music.

The sound of running footsteps could be heard through the doorway, but Tyson knew they were too late. There was a puddle of blood surrounding him, and the fact that he was still conscious was a miracle enough. So with one last slash Tyson allowed himself to fall into the darkness of his mind, but before he did he heard the horrified gasp of one of his "friends" when they entered his room, and smiled insanely at them all.

X.X.X.X.X.X.X.

Akira: Finals! I must get to work on finals! Sorry for not being able to answer reviews right now.

**Poll: **There are two endings to this story. In the first one the ending is dark and people die. In the second some people come close to death. Now tell me which ending you would prefer to have.


	7. Imaginary

Akira: Hi everyone. I'm still busy with finals, but right now I got some free time so I'm updating this story. Thank you for all your reviews and thank you for reading.

Italics Tyson's dream or thoughts 

Normal writing Real life

Chapter 7

Imaginary

Kai, Ray, Max, and Hiro stood in the doorway in Tyson's room. They had all seen Tyson smile and fall to the floor as blood poured from his wrists and arms. Hiro was the first one to snap out of his shock and ran to Tyson's side, checking his little brother's plus. Barely feeling anything he cursed and pulled off the jacket he had been wearing and wrapped it around Tyson's freezing frame. "Someone get me some bandages and call for an ambulance!"

Hiro's yelling snapped Max and Ray out of their dazes, and they both ran off to do what Hiro had commanded them to do, but Kai remained standing there. As if unsure of himself Kai slowly walked over to Hiro who was cradling Tyson against his chest, but the younger boy's body was still shivering from the cold. Lifting his hand up he was about to touch Tyson's cheek, but stopped when he remembered Hiro was in the room.

Pounding footsteps heading towards the room was what helped him fully shake off his shake of his state shock. Looking towards the door Kai saw Max holding a first aid kit, looking out of breath. "Here's the first aid kit; Ray's calling the hospital right now," Max said as he gave the first aid kit to Hiro.

Trying to remain calm Hiro nodded his head. Opening up the kit he saw it was low on band-aids, making Hiro's gut churn at the thought of why so many were missing. Taking charge of the situation Hiro started giving out more commands. "Max I want you to get some water and a wash cloth." Max nodded his head and ran off. "Kai I want you to hold Tyson as I bandage him up."

Kai was more than stunned that Hiro was telling him to hold Tyson, but as Hiro handed the unconscious boy over to him he couldn't argue. Kai stared down at Tyson's bloody body and a strange feeling swept over him. He felt weak, powerless, empty, defeated, lonely, and betrayed. Yes he definitely felt betrayed. Tyson wasn't suppose to leave him like this. Tyson was his opponent, his rival, the reason why he pushed himself, Tyson actually made him feel something other than hate.

Unknowingly Kai held Tyson tighter as his thoughts became more possessive. _He's mine and he can't just leave like this. He's the reason behind most of the things I do. The only reason I left a weeks ago was because I didn't want to be around him, because I was starting to feel something, something I shouldn't, and even after I came back it was still there and it was stronger than ever. He can't do this! This isn't real it can't be real!_ As Kai shouted these thoughts over and over again in his head he continued to hold Tyson's body close to him, but no one noticed how Kai's once awkward hold on Tyson's body had become a firm embrace.

X.X.X.X.X.X.X.

_Tyson lay in the soft lush green grass as the wind wailed in his ears. A beautiful storm was coming but he didn't move from his spot. Instead he shut his eyes and let his breathing even out. He was safe, he was in his own heaven where no one could hurt him, and the feeling of the approaching storm only made him more relaxed. Gray clouds covered the sun and thunder echoed through the clean air. Sakura blossoms danced on the wind and brushed against Tyson's tan face, but didn't disturb the boy as he began to drift into sleep. _

_Just as sleep was about to claim him though, Tyson felt someone leaning over him. Slowly opening his eyes he smiled as he looked up into the eyes of Kai. The older boy looked down at him with a look Tyson had never seen before in the captain's eyes. Still a little tired Tyson weakly wrapped his arms around his loves neck and buried his face into Kai's collarbone, inhaling the older boy's scent. "Kai," He whispered longingly to the boy who leaned over him._

_Strong arms wrapped around Tyson's torso and pulled him against the strong chest of his team captain. "Tyson," Kai said softly, and the younger boy couldn't help but melt as he heard Kai say his name so lovingly. _

_Tears streamed down Tyson's face as he snuggled into Kai's warm embrace. All the feelings he had for Kai were so strong, and now he knew there was no way all of this could ever be because he had killed himself. "I'm sorry Kai." He still longed for Kai, but he had chosen death over his love, and now he was stuck in this dream, waiting for death to come and claim him. _

X.X.X.X.X.X.X.

The three Blade Breakers and Hiro sat in the waiting room of the hospital. Max was crying his eyes out as Ray tried to comfort the upset blonde. Hiro was a littler further away from the group and was talking to someone on his cell-phone, most likely Tyson's grandpa or father. Kai on the other hand sat away from all of them, deep in thought.

He couldn't understand why Tyson would try to kill himself. The keeper of Dragoon had always seemed to be the happiest person on Earth and nothing ever kept him down, and yet here he was in the hospital for suicide. Kai felt that he would never understand, and maybe a small part of him didn't want to either, because that small part of him had known all along what was happening and knew who was responsible.

Not wanting to think about it anymore Kai let his mind drift to something else, but his mind kept returning to Tyson. He kept thinking about how happy Tyson seemed and then that terrible image of Tyson lying on floor bleeding to death would enter his mind, and his heart would shatter as his brain screamed out in horror.

The sound of heels clicking on the tiled floor made Kai look up to see the doctor standing there with a look of exhaustion on her face. Clearing her throat she asked, "Are you all friends or family of Tyson Kinomiya?" The group nodded their heads. "Tyson has been stabilized and is now resting in a room we had prepared for him. He will be staying here until it is seen fit to send him home. Since he is resting right now he is allowed one visitor at a time and I must ask that you do not try to wake him. Also there is one more thing."

The doctor frowned as she read the last of the notes on her sheet of paper, making everyone nervous. "It seems Tyson had some internal bleeding-"

"Internal bleeding?" Hiro interrupted. "How?"

"I was getting to that," The doctor said a little frustrated, but a look full of sorrow crossed her face as she spoke. "After running a few tests we noticed the internal bleeding and as we examined him more we discovered something that was…" the doctor searched for the best word to use in the situation, "surprising. I'm guessing Tyson didn't tell you about it, and if that's the case I'm sorry you have to find out this way." The doctors next words explained everything and it was with those words that Kai felt his world shatter.

_This isn't happening! It can't be happening! _Was all Kai could think as dread filled his entire being.

X.X.X.X.X.X.X.

_The tears continued to fall down Tyson's face as he laid in Kai's arms. Something warm touched his face, and as Tyson cracked open an eye to see what it was he saw Kai licking away his tears. Feeling safe and loved Tyson tried to stop his tears, but he couldn't. The arms around his waist tighten and Kai made him face him. The look Kai was giving him made Tyson feel like the other boy was staring straight into his soul. "Don't hold back. Just cry," Kai said gently to Tyson and the younger boy couldn't help but feel grateful._

_The two boys sat there holding each other as the storm grew. Soft drops of crystal water fell from the sky, and the wind blew with so mush strength it felt like it was trying to separate the two lovers, but it only made them hold on to each other tighter. _

_"Kai," Tyson said barely above a whisper, but the older boy heard him. "I-I love you, but I know this is a dream and I know that this could never happen in real life so please just let me stay here in this dream with you, or let me die because I just can't take another day of life. Please." Tyson buried his face into Kai's chest and sobbed harder than he ever thought possible. His life was horrible and meaningless, but this dream was all he wanted and if he couldn't have it he would rather be dead than alive. _

_"Tyson," Kai gently touched the younger boy's cheek and coaxed him into looking him in the eyes. As they stared into each other's eyes their breaths began to mingle and they came closer together. Lightening flashed as their lips met in soft chaste kiss, and as they pulled apart Tyson saw the tears running Kai's own face and heard Kai's pain filled voice whisper to him, "I'm sorry."_

_Tyson's heart skipped a beat and in that one instant lightening hit the two lovers._

X.X.X.X.X.X.


	8. Taking Over Me

Chapter 8

Taking Over Me

Tyson lay awake in his hospital bed. He didn't know who brought him there or what time it was but his dream was still fresh in his mind. He remembered it so perfectly. He remembered Kai's lips, Kai's embrace and he remembered Kai comforting him, but in the end he had to leave his dream world.

Tears of regret streamed down Tyson's face as he tried to fight off the wave of sorrow that was going to engulf him. He had begged Dream Kai to let him stay in his dream or let him die, but here he was now; back in this world of chaos. How could anyone stand living in it?

Burying his face in his hands Tyson continued to fight off the sobs that racked his body. How could he be so weak? Why couldn't he have just died? Why was he clinging so much to Kai in his dream? Why did this have to happen? Why? Why?

No matter how many times Tyson asked those questions though he could never find answers, which only enraged him more. _Why did everyone betray me? Why am I crying when I can always try to kill myself again? Why didn't I die? Did my so-called "friends" bring me here so they could continue to torture me? Why couldn't I just stay in my dream? Why?_

Sniffling Tyson asked the question that had been plaguing his mind ever since he knew what his feelings for Kai were, "Why did I have to fall in love with Kai?"

X.X.X.X.X.X.X.

Kai silently walked down the hall to Tyson's room. Everyone had gone in before him and each person said Tyson was sleeping peacefully. It was hard to believe they were telling him the truth after all he had heard and seen that day.

An ice-cold wind ran up and down Kai's back as he repeated the doctor's words over again in his head. _Tyson was viciously raped. _He remembered how out of frustration Max asked what was the difference between being raped and viciously raped was, only to learn that while Tyson was being raped he was also getting beaten in the process. It made Kai want to kill someone, but he knew it wouldn't make a difference if he killed someone, Tyson would still remember and feel the pain of being raped and beaten.

The silence grew deafening as he continued his pace to Tyson's room. He desperately wanted to see him, Kai couldn't deny that. He wanted to make sure Tyson really was alive and sleeping peacefully. He wanted to hold Tyson and shield him from any more horrors the world had to offer, but he knew that Tyson would never allow him to do that. Tyson was too proud to let Kai do that, but after what happened today who really knew what Tyson thought anymore?

Kai now stood in front of the door to Tyson's room, but he couldn't bring himself to open the door. He wanted to go in there and see Tyson, but at the same time he was afraid of what he may find. Maybe all of his teammates had lied and Tyson was dead. He knew he was being childish, but he had never gone through something like this before.

Sighing in frustration he opened the door without making a sound and saw Tyson sitting in bed, back facing him and saying words he never thought he'd hear come out of Tyson's mouth.

"Why did I have to fall in love with Kai?"

X.X.X.X.X.X.X.

Silence answered Tyson's question, but still he went on, ranting about how it was unfair. "Why did I have to fall in love with Kai? So many things have happened and all of them were horrible, but falling in love with Kai has got to be the worst."

More tears filled Tyson's eyes as he continued. He wanted to shut up and stop saying all these things, but he couldn't stop. He had to say every last word. "Kai doesn't love anyone so he could never return my feelings, but what makes this even worse is that he hates me! I could handle him not loving me but I can't stand him hating me!"

It became hard for Tyson to breath as he relived every moment of heartache he had suffered. "I know I'm selfish and stupid, and I can be arrogant at times, but does he have to hate me." Without thinking Tyson punched his pillow out of frustration. "I love him so much, but he'll always hate me, and I'll always have to suffer! Why! Why couldn't I have just stayed in my dream or die! Why?" Tyson's voice became a whisper as he asked one more time why.

Warm arms wrapped around Tyson's waist from behind and he stiffened. A spicy scent filled his nose and his back was pressed flush against a muscled chest. He knew who was holding him even before the person spoke to him.

"Tyson," Kai said in a hushed voice as he held the younger boy close. "Did you mean everything you just said about loving me?"

Tyson nodded his and prepared for the rejection that was sure to come only to feel Kai hold him tighter and the older boy bury his face in his hair. Something inside Tyson snapped and he let himself turn around and cry in relief in Kai's chest. Kai didn't reject him, which meant Kai accepted his love, which meant maybe, just maybe, Kai loved him too.

X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.

Kai tightened his hold around Tyson's waist as the younger boy continued to cry into his shirt. Had he done something wrong? He hadn't pushed Tyson away or anything that showed he was displeased with the boy so why was he crying.

Looking down at the boy Kai tried to angle his head so he could see Tyson's face, but all he saw was what looked like a small smile on Tyson's face. _Okay… Tyson's crying and smiling at the same time. It's weird but I've seen weirder. _

Letting a small smile break through his normally ice cold mask Kai ran his hands up and down Tyson's back. "You're weird Tyson. I don't know why I love you."

A laugh erupted from Tyson and he snuggled closer to Kai. "Trust me Kai, you haven't seen nothing yet, and if I remember correctly I was the regretting falling in love, not you."

Resting his chin on Tyson's head Kai pulled Tyson down on the bed with him so that they were now laying on it. "Just shut up and let me sleep, Tyson. Everything you did today has got me exhausted."

Smiling Tyson complied with Kai's demand and closed his eyes and cuddled into Kai. For now he felt whole.

X.X.X.X.X.X.X.

Akira: I hope you're happy. This chapter had angst and fluff, but sadly the fluff won't last for long. I still got three songs left on the CD, and the next one is Hello. Such a strange name for a song, but I've heard stranger.


	9. Hello

**Important Note: **It turns out FF dot net doesn't allow you to post lyrics in fanfics unless they're yours so I can't post the lyrics to the songs in these chapters.

Chapter 9

Hello

Tyson stirred slowly from his dreamless sleep. He could feel Kai's warm arms wrapped securely around his frame. A small smile spread across Tyson's lips as he buried his face into Kai's chest. He felt at peace with himself for the first time in months, and to think it was all because of Kai. He didn't care what the others thought about him anymore.

The others! Tyson sat up with a jolt, but luckily he hadn't disturbed Kai. The others, what would they do to him? What did they think of him? Were they angry? Did they even care? Maybe Kai had been they only one to come and see him.

The bitter feeling of loneliness and rejection bit at him. He felt so hollow and his heart ached with an indescribable pain. He wanted to scream in frustration and hurt his so-called friends as much as they hurt him, but at the same time he wanted to curl up into a little ball and cry his eyes out.

Glancing down at Kai's sleeping figure Tyson smiled a bittersweet smile. He loved Kai and didn't want to disturb his peaceful sleep with his screaming or tears, which ever came first, so with what little strength he had Tyson pushed himself out of the hospital bed and walked down the hospital corridor.

The place was so white, and seemed so pure it made Tyson want to run away and hide. He was now imperfect and tainted. Had Kai even known these things when he had confessed his love to him? Maybe Tyson had been taking advantage him unknowingly. Now he was even a worse than he originally thought he was. How could he have done that to Kai? What was he thinking by not telling Kai? He didn't deserve someone as perfect as Kai.

Tyson's footing slipped and he fell to the cold ground. He didn't even bother to catch himself. How could he have been so selfish and not say anything to Kai? He deserved more than just falling, he deserved immeasurable pain. His figures twitched for a knife, but being in a hospital he had no access to one.

Not wanting to draw attention to himself Tyson pushed himself up from the ground. A groan of pain could be heard coming from him as he forced himself up from the ground. He clutched his lower abdomen as the pain seeped into his body. He wasn't sure what caused this sudden pain but it hurt and he welcomed it.

He continued to walk down the white halls of the hospital, but just as he was about to round a corner he stopped. Voices came from around the corner and he recognized them instantly.

X.X.X.X.X.X.

"Tyson has to what?" Max asked quietly. He couldn't believe what he just heard Hiro say. It was impossible. Tyson didn't need that kind of help. He was fine just a little depressed. So that meant all they needed to do was make sure Tyson was happy from now on, and that was it. They didn't need to do anything else.

"Tyson has to see a therapist." Hiro repeated sternly. "I know you don't like it but he tried to commit suicide, and because of that it is required of him to take counseling."

Sensing Max's distress Ray wrapped his arms around the blonde in a comforting way and tried to figure out if there was another way. "Are you sure he needs counseling? Maybe he was just really upset. It would be unfair to him if just because he got upset that he had to go through therapy."

"No there isn't any other way," Hiro answered. "The doctors say it is necessary. If he hadn't been trying to commit suicide he wouldn't have to go through it, but he did so now he has to take responsibility for his actions and go to counseling."

X.X.X.X.X.X.

A fake smile spread across Tyson's lips as he listened to the conversation. _So now I have to go see some person who tells you why you feel the way you do and tries to tell you what to do because it will make your life better. Ha! Yeah right! Seeing a therapist isn't going to make things better. If anything it will make me go insane. I don't need someone telling how I feel and why I feel that way!_

Without so much as a word he stomped off from where his friends and family had been talking. _Maybe Kai knew all along and he was just being nice to me. What if he doesn't really love me but was taking pity on me. _Tears formed in Tyson's eyes but he would not cry. _I should have known it was too good to be true, but like an idiot I believed him. I'm so stupid I just want to… just want to… I just want to die. _

Tyson's heart fell. Why hadn't he died? Why was he still here when no one loved him? Was he supposed to continue smiling and pretending to be happy, and act as if nothing were wrong? Was that what he was supposed to do? Live a lie?

For too long he hid to behind an illusion of himself. He never showed his real self and when he finally did they said he was wrong. They acted as if he were a broken doll that needed fixing just because he saw the world differently then they did. What was wrong with that? Why couldn't he be himself?

The pain in his stomach had grown now. It was so painful. It felt like it was tearing him apart like when those guys raped him. Fire seared in him and his breathing became ragged. The pain became too much for him so he tried to lean against the wall, but his legs grew weak and he slid down it into a fetal position. What was happening to him?

X.X.X.X.X.X.

Kai raced down through the hospital searching for Tyson. When he had woken up the blue haired boy was no longer next to him. Worry had consumed Kai, but he did his best to hide it when he asked the doctor if Tyson had been moved anywhere. When he received the answer no he immediately began to panic. Where would Tyson go in a hospital?

His new found love had to be somewhere around here. It wasn't like Tyson could very far with all those injures, but that's what worried Kai the most, the injures. Tyson was reckless and because of that he might not take proper care of his injures, which could lead to something fetal.

A groan caught Kai's attention and without a second thought he ran in the direction of the sound, only to panic more at the sight that lay before him. Tyson laid huddle against the wall in a fetal position. Without any hesitation Kai was at Tyson's side and holding him. "Tyson what's wrong?"

Tyson took deep shuddering breaths but smiled when he heard Kai's voice. It didn't matter if he didn't deserve Kai or if Kai didn't truly love him cause he loved Kai and it made him happy to see him there in his time of need.

He could feel the darkness of his mind calling him as his pain became numb, but he didn't want to pass out just yet. So with the last of his strength Tyson willed himself to look into Kai's eyes. The tears he had been holding back fell when he looked into Kai's eyes. He felt like he was dreaming, for in Kai's eyes shone what Tyson could only place as love.

Maybe it is all a dream. Maybe all of this isn't real and I'll wake up and realize all of my friends and family love me and Kai will still be my rival.

"Tyson?" Kai questioned as he looked at Tyson. The younger boy seemed so weak and helpless. He didn't like seeing this weak side of Tyson. Tyson was supposed to be strong, but now lying there in his arms crying made Kai see him as the most fragile thing in the world. He couldn't stop himself as he leaned in kissed away one of Tyson's tears.

Tyson stiffened. What Kai had done was so similar in his dream it had taken him by surprise. A small warmth settled over Tyson as the darkness consumed his mind. It wasn't all a dream Kai really did love him, but that also meant ever thing else that happened to him was real too. He had hurt himself and had been raped, but… but he still had Kai's affections.

Tyson's body went limp in Kai's arms. "Tyson?" Kai whispered but there was no response. "Tyson?"

"Tyson?"

"Tyson!"

"Tyson!"

X.X.X.X.X.X.


	10. My Last Breath

Akira: (glares at computer screen and mumbles under breath about something)

Mimi: (sigh) Aki-chan, please cheer up.

Akira: No I need this angst. Besides, I like my moods.

My Last Breath

"Tyson!" Kai shouted desperately and tried to shake the unconscious boy in his arms awake. What was going on? The doctor said Tyson was fine, so why did he pass out in his arms? Why wasn't Tyson smiling and being his normal self? Why had he look so pained while he was sitting there propped up against the wall? Why wasn't anyone helping them? Unknowingly to Kai though, two nurses had seen them and one had gone off to get a doctor while the other was trying to get Kai to talk to her and tell her what happened.

"Tyson," Kai said barely above a whisper as he pulled the younger boy closer to him. The other boy was so cold and his skin was paler than normal. Why wouldn't Tyson respond? He couldn't be dead could he? Terrified at the thought Kai instantly moved his head and rested it on Tyson's chest. The boy's heartbeat was so weak, and his breathing was ragged.

Kai's body began to shake as he held Tyson's limp form close to him. He was afraid yet angry. He didn't want Tyson to die. He was scared that Tyson might leave him, and the thought of it infuriated him. How dare Tyson leave him, and after they had confessed to each other! Tyson couldn't leave him here all alone. Life wouldn't be right without him. He had spent so many years growing stronger just to beat him, and without Tyson there to challenge him it wouldn't feel right, and then there was the fact that he loved the blue haired boy. What would he do if Tyson died?

Feeling Movement in his arms Kai looked down to see Tyson's eyes open a crack and stare at him. A small, pain-filled, but genuine smile lit Tyson's soft features as he stared at Kai. Without a word Kai intertwined his fingers with Tyson's, and a silent message was spoken between the two.

With what little strength he had left Tyson rested his head on Kai's chest and inhaled his spicy scent before being engulfed once again by the darkness of his own mind. Kai could feel Tyson's breaths even out and squeezed Tyson's hand.

It was in that moment that the doctor burst in with a stretcher and pulled Tyson out of Kai's embrace. As Tyson was pulled away from Kai their hands held onto each others until Tyson was pulled fully out of Kai's hold, leaving the crimson eyed boy kneeling there with his arm outstretched, watching as Tyson was put on the stretcher and taken into the emergency room.

X.X.X.X.X.X.

It was hard to breathe. The pain in Tyson's lower abdomen could only be described as an icy fire. It was unbelievably cold, but it felt like flames were licking and burning inside him and trying to eat him alive. Any movement took him all his strength, even the rise and fall of his chest as he breathed.

The air that filled his lungs were like metal claws scratching their way down his lungs and tearing them apart until there was nothing left. He wanted to stop it all. The pain was too much for him to take. He knew at one point he wanted pain, but this was just unbearable. His need to die grew stronger as the pain in him grew. Why couldn't all the pain stop? Why did it have to hurt so much?

He hardly recognized the cool salty liquid running down his cheeks. It felt like acid. Why did it feel like acid? It burned his flesh and stole away what little energy was left in him. The icy flames were now growing and at this rate they would surely engulf him. If only his tears hadn't deprived him of his energy, then maybe he would have enough energy to fight off the flames.

Was this life or death? He knew he was on the brink of death, but he was still alive. So was this pain being caused by life or death? Once dead he wouldn't feel a thing, but it was because he was dying that he felt this pain. Which one was the cause of his suffering? Life or Death?

X.X.X.X.X.X.X.

Kai couldn't move. He just couldn't. It was like everything was just a horrible nightmare and nothing was real. Tyson had been there in his arms and now he was gone and in the emergency room. It was so sudden. Tyson was so happy and full of life and now in one night it was revealed to all be a lie. A lie that no one could see until it was too late or until Tyson decided to show it. To think, all this time Tyson had been deceiving them, it was almost humorous. The one who was always thought to be honest, to the point of being blunt, was really deceitful and kept things locked up and hidden.

Had Tyson always been like this? Had he really been depressed and resentful for so long? How long had he been like this anyway? If they had known would they have been able to stop all of this from happening? Would he have even cared? What would they have done? It was so confusing.

He knew he should move and make sure everyone else knew what happened to Tyson, but Kai couldn't find the strength. If Tyson really did die that would mean this would be the last spot he saw him. The last time he had seen him. Leaving it felt like betraying not only Tyson but himself. Sure he had betrayed Tyson before, but this was different. Before he had wanted power and had wanted to beat Tyson, but now it felt as if he was being frozen over with a blanket of ice and stabbed with a knife over and over again at just the thought of leaving this spot.

He'd stay. Someone would come find him eventually, but until then he had to stay. If he moved then… he didn't know what would happen, but it wouldn't be good. He just had to stay. Besides, what if the doctor came back over here to search for him instead of looking for everybody else. It would make sense in a way. He didn't get a good look at the doctor, but if it wasn't Tyson's doctor and just some random doctor that was nearby then it would be more likely that the doctor would come back here, right?

Kai shook his head furiously. That was the most ridiculous idea he had ever had! But still he didn't move. Maybe it was ridiculous, and maybe the chances were slim of happening, but then again at one point if someone had come up to him and told him Tyson was going to commit suicide he'd probably would have punched them in the face for saying something so stupid.

X.X.X.X.X.X.X.

It was too bright. Tyson couldn't see it, but he could feel the heat of a bright light above him. Even with the heat of the light above him he felt frozen. Why was it so cold? Was it snowing or something?

Distant voices echoed in his ears, but they were muffled by the screaming in his head. He was so exhausted, but the agony he was feeling overrode it. Beads of sweat had begun forming on his tan skin, which had become deathly pale recently, and it burned him. It felt like it was slowly melting off strips of his skin. He needed to scream and cry out, but he didn't have the required strength to do such a thing so he had to settle with his mental screams of anguish.

Terror pounded in his heart, but he didn't notice it. Everything was now just a blur. All he was fully aware of was the indescribable pain that flooded his system, and the sheet of ice that seemed to be wrapped around him. So cold that it bit into his bones and made his body feel raw.

A shadow stood over him and then something covered his mouth and he was forced to breathe something into his burning lungs. Why did he continue to breathe when it brought nothing but more suffering?

X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.

"Kai?" Max asked as he, Ray, and Hiro shook the dual haired boy. It had been hours since Kai had left to see Tyson, and all three of them had grown curious as to what was taking so long so they went to check Tyson's room, but were horrified when they found it completely barren. They had all searched the hospital looking for the two missing teens and had finally found Kai, but the boy wasn't responding to any of them.

"Come on Kai snap out it," Ray tried as he took Kai's shoulder and shook it repeatedly, but no matter what he did Kai remained unmoving with a soulless look in his eyes. To see Kai in such a state was unnerving. What could possibly have shaken Kai so badly?

"Excuse me," Everyone turned around at the new timid voice to see a young male doctor behind them. "I was wondering would you happen to have a connection to Tyson Kinomiya?"

Kai's eyes blazed to life at the name, and with renewed strength and a determined look on his face he shoved the three people who had been disturbing him for almost an hour now away. "Yes, how is he?" Kai's voice remained stern and deadly low as he spoke, but deep inside he felt terrified. What if Tyson wasn't strong enough and died?

The doctor seemed to sigh in relief at Kai's answer. "It seems Tyson had to be sent to E.R. because he had reopened some of his wounds."

Silence filled the room. Everyone except Kai was stunned at what they had just heard. When was Tyson sent to E.R.? What happened? How could Tyson have opened up his wounds? Was Tyson okay? How did Kai know about Tyson being in E.R.?

"What do you mean his wounds reopened?" Kai demanded. He remembered holding Tyson and he remembered that they boy had not been bleeding, so it was impossible for him to have reopened his wounds unless something happened when the doctors took him into E.R.

"As I'm sure you have already been told by Tyson's actual doctor, he has internal bleeding." The male doctor flipped the paper on his clipboard over as he read off the information he had on Tyson. "For those of you who don't know what internal bleeding is it is when the tissues of the body are cut open and begin to bleed. Earlier, Tyson's internal bleeding was taken care, but he must have started moving around and exerted himself, because the wounds had reopened themselves. Truth is he's very lucky to be alive. Any longer without any medical treatment and he might have died."

Deafening silence filled the room. Tyson could have died. Tyson could have died! And all because he was wandering around the hospital instead of resting! What if Kai hadn't found him? What if the doctor hadn't arrived on time? What would have happened to Tyson if one little thing had been different?

"Can we see him?" Hiro asked. He had to make sure his little was brother was okay. He never expected Tyson to have so much inner turmoil, but after all that happened he had been proven wrong. He had to see with his own eyes that Tyson was okay and not dead.

"I'm sorry, but at this point it's better if Tyson just rested," The doctor stated. "You can see him tomorrow, but until then he is to remain undisturbed."

X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.

No one had the power to tell Kai what to do, and so after pulling a few strings he was able to get himself inside Tyson's room. There was no way he was leaving the hospital until he saw Tyson one more time and knew that the boy was being taken care of.

The blue haired boy was sleeping soundly in his hospital bed, and for that Kai was grateful. If Tyson was awake and in pain he didn't know what he would do, but most likely he'd beat the crap out of one of Tyson's doctors. A cruel smile spread across Kai's lips as he thought about all the things he could do to torture Tyson's doctors. Yes, now that Tyson was his he wasn't going to let anyone get away with hurting the boy. Sure the doctors saved Tyson's life, but if they couldn't even do the simplest thing, such as giving Tyson something to make him not feel any pain or go to sleep then they might as well rot in hell.

Grabbing one of the chairs in the room he pulled it up to Tyson's bed and sat there watching the other boy. The look on Tyson's face was so peaceful and calm causing a wave of relief to wash over Kai. Careful not to wake the younger boy Kai moved his hand to touch Tyson's cheek and stroked it. The skin under his hand was so soft, but what made Kai happy was feeling the warmth radiating off it. Tyson's body was back to its normal temperature, he was going to be okay.

As quiet as possible Kai stood up and leaned down so his face was inches away from Tyson's. Letting his breath play on Tyson's lips he took in all of the boy's features. He didn't know what it was about the boy that made him feel the way he did, but he knew the next person that dared try to harm Tyson would be dead in only a matter of seconds. Yes, maybe he did sound a little possessive and overprotective, but Tyson was now his and nobody hurt what was his.

Softly he pressed his lips against Tyson. It was a gentle chaste kiss, but it was filled with caring and tenderness, something Kai himself never expected to show. Warmth seemed to flood him though when his lips met Tyson's. Letting the kiss linger for a few more seconds Kai slowly pulled back and smirked when he saw Tyson was still asleep.

Kai knew he had to go, but he would be back tomorrow, but as he stood in the doorway about to leave he turned to look back at the sleeping boy and whispered, "Goodnight Tyson."

X.X.X.X.X.

Akira: … How do I write these kind of things?

Mimi: (smiling) I like that ending.

Akira: … O-kay.


	11. Whisper

Chapter 11

Whisper

A yellow taxi pulled up to the Kinomiya residence catching the attention of everyone who was at the dojo. Today was the day Tyson was supposed to come back from the hospital, but it was also the day when Tyson had to go see a counselor. Everyone had agreed it would be best if Tyson went to see his counselor before returning home that way it would be less stressful for the boy. When they had told Tyson this plan he had reluctantly agreed, but he made them promise he could go there by himself. He didn't want any of his family or friends there, even if it was the first day which meant the counselor was only going to tell him how everything worked and then talk to him for a bit. Having them there would only make things harder.

After giving the taxi driver the money Tyson just sat there in the back seat for a few seconds. What were their reactions going to be when they saw him? Would they be angry? Would they ask questions? Taking deep breaths he tried to calm himself down. He couldn't have a panic attack now, especially since the driver was giving him a look that clearly said the guy wanted Tyson to get out of the cab. With one final deep breath he pushed on the door handle, opened the door and stepped out of the taxi.

No one said anything. No one greeted him, instead Max and Ray were beybattling each other while Kai watched over them. His grandpa and brother were probably in the dojo somewhere, or at least his grandpa was. For all he knew Hiro left to help his father. A hollow feeling settled in Tyson's stomach at these thoughts. Even after he had almost committed suicide they still didn't care. Maybe he should have just stayed at the hospital. At least there people noticed him.

Each new thought made Tyson's insides ache more and more. Why did he expect everyone to all of sudden care? How could he be so stupid? As he berated himself silent tears formed behind Tyson's eyes. It hurt so much. He could barely breath because of the pain and as the burning tears threatened to fall he felt the need to hide. He couldn't let them know he was in pain. He just couldn't.

"Tyson." the voice caught Tyson's attention just before he was about to turn and run away. He so badly wanted to ignore the voice and just run away anyway, but he couldn't, so against his will he turned to face the person who had spoken to him.

Kai was leaning against the dojo wall with his arms crossed over his chest. The stance he held was his usual one, but it was different. Instead of keeping his eyes closed like he would normally do they were open and gazing directly at Tyson, and the gaze was hot and intense. It was like he was burning a hole through Tyson and staring at his very soul. It scared Tyson to have someone staring at him like that, so he looked away. He knew he shouldn't and that he had no reason to, but he just couldn't take Kai's intense gaze.

"Tyson," Kai called to the bluenette again. He kept his voice calm as he spoke, but made sure it also held a tone of command to it. "Tyson, come here."

At first Tyson didn't move and Kai was going to call out to him again, but before the words could escape Kai's mouth Tyson moved closer to dual haired teen. As Tyson moved closer Ray and Max stopped their battle in order to stare at Tyson, not knowing how uncomfortable they were making him. It wasn't until Tyson was standing directly in front of Kai did he stop moving.

A shadow covered Tyson's eyes as he stood there, so no one could tell what he was thinking, but Tyson knew all too well what was going on in his head. _Kai's mad at me. I know he said he loved me but that doesn't mean he can't be mad at me. I hope he can forgive me. I didn't want to upset anyone. I just wanted to escape from the pain. It hurt so much and I couldn't take it. I'm so weak. How could I be so self centered? There are so many people out there that have suffered more than me and they go on living. I'm an idiot. A weakling. I don't deserve any of this. _

Something warm grabbed onto Tyson's wrist and before he knew what was going on he was being held in two warm strong arms. He could feel whoever was holding him pulling him down so that they were both sitting on the dojo floor, and he didn't fight it. He felt so tired and couldn't fight back, but he didn't want to. The arms that were holding him felt familiar and made him feel safe and wanted. This is where he wanted to be, in the arms of someone who cared about him. Nowhere else could compare, but he could feel eyes staring at him, so with what little strength he had he turned his head so he was facing Ray and Max.

Smiles were plastered on the two boys faces, but something didn't seem right. Tyson couldn't put his finger on it, but something seemed false and out of place. Shaking off the feeling Tyson gave the two boys a smile of his own. "Hey guys, did ya miss?"

Max laughed at the question. "Yes Tyson, we missed you. So how are you feeling?"

"Tired," Was Tyson's response as he subconsciously moved his body closer to Kai's, who was the one holding him in a protective embrace. "It's impossible to get any sleep at a hospital with all the other patients, nurses, and doctors running around. Also, while the counselor was nice it was very weird talking to them. It's kind of hard to explain exactly what it was like, but it was weird, very weird. Other than that I'm fine." _Except for those thoughts I was having a few moments ago, but I'm fine now. I just hope I can remain fine._

"That's good," Ray said with that same smile on his face, and once again the uncomfortable feeling settled over Tyson. The bluenette could only watch as Ray grabbed Max's wrist and began to walk away with the blonde while shouting over his shoulder, "Since you're tired Max and I'll go practice somewhere else that way we won't disturb you."

Tyson frowned as he watched his two friends leave. Something was wrong with them, he could tell. They weren't mad at him, but something about him was brothering them and making them act weird. Then again maybe he just wasn't expecting them be so happy when he returned.

"Hn. You seem to have a lot on your mind."

A brilliant smile took over Tyson's face and he buried his face into Kai's chest. He'd never understand how he fell in love with Kai, but he couldn't be happier, and just having the other boy there with him made him feel better than he ever had. The arms around him tightened their hold on him and warmth settled over Tyson's entire being. Kai could act like a real jackass at times but he loved him, and that made Tyson feel… he couldn't think of the word that could rightfully describe it. He felt safe, protected, warm, and so light that he might just float away, but he also ached to be closer to Kai, but not just physically. He needed to be closer in all senses, body, mind, and soul and while he did ache for this it didn't hurt. It wasn't like all the other aching feelings he had when he was depressed or angry. This aching feeling was in a strange sense welcomed.

Inhaling Kai's spicy scent Tyson managed a murmur, "I do have a lot on my mind, but it's nothing important. Ray and Max just seem to be acting a little odd. I don't think they're angry, but how they're acting just seems strange."

Placing his hand on Tyson's cheek Kai lifted the boy's face up to his own and kissed him. The kiss was chaste, but gave of a wave of caring and support, something that Tyson desperately needed. As they pulled away from each other Kai smirked at the blush staining Tyson's cheeks. "Don't worry about it Tyson, just relax."

"Easy for you to say," Tyson huffed. "If I want to fall asleep in my bed then I have to go in the house and risk having to talk to my grandpa and maybe my brother, depending on if he's there. Is he?"

"Hn. Yes." Kai rested his chin on Tyson's head. He knew Tyson was going to have to talk to his family soon, but he wanted to spend a little more time alone with him until then, and even though he didn't show it, what Tyson said had him concerned. Max and Ray hadn't seemed to be acting different, but after looking back on what just happened they were acting odd, almost edgy even.

"Kai," Tyson said as he pulled away from the boy, "I'm really tired and just want some sleep. Can we please go inside?"

"We?" It wasn't the fact the Kai didn't want to go inside with Tyson, but he hadn't expected the younger teen to say it.

"Yeah we. If I go inside with you my grandpa and brother will probably leave me alone if they see me." _At least I hope they will,_ Tyson thought to himself. He couldn't handle talking to his family right now. He was drained of a lot of his strength and because of that might say some things he didn't mean to them if he talked to them right now.

Nodding Kai stood up, pulling Tyson up with him, and entered the dojo with bluenette right beside him. Hiro and Gramps saw the two, but didn't disturb them. Instead the two glanced at them and then let the two boys go without a word, silently understanding that now wasn't the best time to talk. For this Tyson was grateful, but he didn't give any sign of this and continued walking to his room with Kai beside him.

When they finally made it to Tyson's room the bluenette gave a sigh of relief and then threw himself onto the bed. He could feel his muscles become less tense when his body hit the soft mattress. There were no words that could describe how much he missed his bed; the bed at the hospital had been bumpy and so thin he could feel the metal bars underneath the mattress.

Seeing Tyson was settling in well Kai turned to leave the room. He'd probably have to answer Hiro and the old man's annoying questions once he stepped out of the room, but he could handle it, he had aspirin.

"Kai?"

Kai stopped mid-step and turned his head to look at Tyson. The boy was sitting up in his bed looking at him with sad lost eyes. "Yes Tyson?"

"I…" Tyson started but his voice died down. He tried again, "I-I know this is kind of pathetic Kai, but… would it be okay if you stayed with me? You don't have to, but I just don't want to be alone right now. So-" Tyson was cut off when he felt a new weight settle next to him on the bed. Glancing in the direction of the weight he saw Kai sitting there next to him and a small smile played on his lips. "Thanks Kai," Tyson said as he lay down on the bed and fell asleep.

X.X.X.X.X.X.X.

Later that day Tyson woke up to find Kai sleeping next to him, or at least it looked like Kai was sleeping next to him. The older boy had his upper body leaning against the headboard and his eyes were closed, but for all Tyson knew Kai was thinking about something. Carefully Tyson lifted himself up from his spot on the bed and looked Kai over. He really couldn't tell whether Kai was sleeping or not. The older looked relaxed, but the way his body was positioned made Tyson doubt that he was sleeping. Who in their right mind would sleep sitting up, but then again this was Kai.

"Are you done looking me over yet?"

Tyson jumped back and fell off the bed. He had been so deep in thought he hadn't seen Kai's eyes open. Sitting up he rubbed his head in embarrassment and in an attempt to get rid of the pain he received from landing on his head. "Well if you're going to be like that than yes."

Tyson's answer made Kai smirk at the bluenette. Getting out the bed he kneeled down beside Tyson so they were eye level. "And what exactly do you mean by 'acting like that?'"

For the first time in months Tyson could feel himself growing happier by the second. He couldn't help the playful feeling that grew in him as he answered Kai's challenge. "I mean you acting like you're all high and mighty. Just because I love you Kai doesn't mean you're ruler of the world."

"Are you calling me arrogant Tyson?" At Tyson's nod a rare smile spread across the dual haired teens face. Not giving the bluenette a warning Kai pushed Tyson to the ground and pinned him down. "Strange, the last time I checked you were the arrogant one."

Tyson's heart screamed out in anguish at these words. The world had become so cold and once again Tyson found himself feeling alone with nothing but the need to run away to keep him company. He knew Kai only meant it as a joke, but being called arrogant opened old wounds. The despair that held Tyson prisoner wouldn't let go and he felt like he was drowning in pool of blood.

Something wasn't right; Kai could sense it. Looking down at Tyson he saw the boy's eyes glazed over showing no emotion. The way Tyson looked right then wasn't right. He showed no emotion, but the air around him seemed to echo with unmeasured sadness. He didn't like it. Seeing Tyson like this upset Kai and in what he guessed was desperation the dual haired teen pressed his lips against Tyson's.

Seconds ticked by and finally Tyson started to respond to the kiss, but it felt different than what Kai expected. The kiss was desperate and filled with pain, and it tasted like salt. Pulling back Kai saw a single tear falling down Tyson face, and something inside him ached for the boy. "What's wrong?"

Tyson shook his head determined not to let Kai know he hurt him, but it only seemed to frustrate the holder of Dranzer. "Tyson, I can't help you if you don't tell me what I did to upset you."

Again Tyson shook his head, but when Kai refused to let him go the bluenette knew he was stuck there until he told Kai what was wrong. Taking a deep breath Tyson explained. "You used to call me arrogant and it always hurt, but I never told you, sorry."

For the first time did Kai see how much he hurt Tyson. _All those times I called him arrogant and treated him badly he pretend that he was angry or he didn't care, but really he was shattered. How could I not see it? Why didn't anyone ever notice? _Regret washed over Kai and in a silent apology he wrapped his arms around Tyson's waist and gave the boy a hug.

Tyson on the other hand was shocked by the sudden embrace, and cautiously wrapped his arms around Kai's neck. _He's not mad. I thought he was going to yell at me and say I need to grow up and stop acting childish, but he's holding me. Is this possible? Maybe he loves me more than I thought. _Smiling contently Tyson buried his face into Kai's chest.

A knock at Tyson's door caught the two boy's attention, but they remained in their embrace. "Hey lil' dudes! We've decided to have a barbeque tonight for dinner! Come to the river when you two are ready. We're leaving right now."

"Thanks for telling us Gramps!" Tyson yelled back at the door, recognizing the voice. "We'll be there in a few!"

"A few?" Kai questioned as he pulled back from their hug, but was stopped by Tyson pulling him back.

"Yeah, I like hugging you and I don't want to stop just yet."

X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.

Tyson could feel his mouth water at the sight of the food in front of him. Hamburgers, Hot dogs, steak, fries, salad, and was that pocky he saw? He could die a happy man now.

"Close your mouth Tyson," Kai said while grabbing two plates and giving one to Tyson.

Taking the plate Tyson huffed and began grabbing some of the food. "I'm just showing my appreciation for the food. Maybe you should do it Kai."

"I would but birds might want to turn my mouth into a nest if I did."

"Hey!"

"Hay is for horses."

Tyson pouted at Kai and took a seat beside Max. "Fine be that way. I hate you now."

Kai smirked. He knew Tyson was only playing around and wasn't upset. Taking a seat next to Rei and across from the bluenette he replied, "And you call me mean. I didn't say I love you and then the next second say I hate you. If anything you're the crueler one."

"Okay I love you, but you're still a cold hearted bastard," Tyson said right before stuffing a fry into his mouth.

"I wouldn't have it any other way," Kai responded coolly.

While this conversation went on between Kai and Tyson everyone else stared and watched in wonder. Tyson looked like he always did, no wait, better. The holder of Dragoon didn't look like someone who had just been sent to the hospital for suicide. And Kai was actually playing around with Tyson. Kai, the guy known for being cold hearted and not caring about anyone. It was too surreal. The happy moment however was ruined when Tyson picked up his knife to cut his steak.

"Uh Tyson why don't you let me cut that for you," Rei said as he reached out and grabbed Tyson's wrist, stopping the boy from cutting his meal.

Tyson eyed Rei suspiciously taking in the nervous and forced smile on the boy's face. Then he looked around the table and noticed Max had the same look on his face while his grandpa and brother were looking at the knife in his hand intently. Finally it all sunk in. They didn't trust him holding a knife.

Tears burned behind his eyes but Tyson wouldn't allow them to see him in such pain. They'd probably then tear the knife out of his hand and then lock him in his room and make sure there isn't anything sharp in it. The feeling of betrayal rotted his bones and all he wanted to do was hide from their accusing gazes. He knew what he did was wrong but he couldn't take it anymore. They would have done it too if they had been in his place.

Swallowing the lump that had formed in his throat Tyson smiled and handed the knife and his food over to Rei. When the neko-jin was done cutting his steak Tyson took back his plate and forced himself to eat the food that had now become bitter and slimy. Everything was horrible. He thought that things were normal, but he had been lying to himself. They were scared of him, and things would never get better.

"Excuse me," Tyson said and stood up and left his friends and family. His feet seemed to have a mind of their own and Tyson let them lead him to his bedroom. He felt so disgusted with himself. How could he ever think things would get better? He was so stupid. This wasn't some fairy tale where things all of sudden got better. No, this was life and he was stuck living it. Why couldn't he have just died?

The tears he had been holding back fell. He couldn't hold it in anymore. Everything hurt. His friends didn't trust him and they were pretending everything was okay when really it wasn't, and his family… they hadn't even tried to talk to him yet. He didn't want to talk to them, but the fact that they weren't making any effort to talk to him. What was wrong with them! He had just tried to commit suicide and they act like nothing had happened, but when he picks up a knife and they instantly become alert!

"Tyson?"

The mentioned bluenette turned his head to face Kai, who was standing in the doorway of the room. _Damn, I forgot to lock the door,_ Tyson thought to himself. "What do you want Kai? Why'd you follow me?"

Kai frowned at Tyson's harsh tone but didn't comment on it. "You looked upset and I wanted to make sure you were going to be okay."

"Okay? Okay! How can I be okay when my friends and family pretending everything is fine when really they're upset! I wish they would just come out and tell me they're angry instead of holding it in!" Tyson's body shook with rage and he clenched his hands into fists.

"What makes you think they're upset?"

Tyson scoffed at Kai's question. "You saw what happened out there. One moment they're acting like they're happy and everything is normal and the moment I grab a knife they freak out!"

Silence passed between the two until Kai spoke, "I guess they didn't want to upset you by reminding you about your suicide attempt, but when they saw you with a knife they got scared."

Tyson's shoulders sagged in defeat. Kai was right, but the fact that his friends and family lied to him by acting happy and then reacted badly to him holding a knife unnerved him. Sighing Tyson leaned forward and rested his head on Kai's shoulder. "I know at one point I wanted them to pretend like everything was normal but I think I want them to yell at me and tell me the truth about how they feel."

"I don't know what I can tell you Tyson." Kai said quietly as he ran his hands through Tyson's hair. "We're just going to have to wait and see happens, but I'm sure they'll tell you eventually."

Tyson nodded and wrapped his arms around Kai. Maybe things weren't perfect, but at least things finally had a chance of getting better.

The End

Akira: I bet half of you are going, "No! That's not a good enough ending!" but in case you guys forgot or started reading this after the lyric rules were posted this was originally based on the Fallen CD of Evanescence. So this is it. (cries) I loved this fic and now it's over! (cries more) If you really liked this fic I have another Tyka angst fic posted called "Rinse It All Away" so you might want to check it out but you don't have to. Oh but before I forget "Rinse It All Away" is rated M so if you don't read rated M stories than I guess you should just ignore this.

Tyson: I hate you Akira.

Akira: (cries) For ending this story I hate myself too!

Tyson: You got issues.

Akira: No, I just love this fic so much.


End file.
